The little birthday party thrown for Baby A last sat was a  typical pigging out event for me and baby A makes me realise how fast a 12 month old can grow. She even knows how to manipulate with her baby instinct which is pretty amazing, at least to me. Over the party, the same old questions popped up and again, I didn't give much an answer. They got it in a way that asking me back how much is enough if I am aftering money and if job is toplisted at my agenda. I didn't bother to give a well in-depth answer but there is nothing wrong to put marriage and having babies second after my priority. I feel like it. I don't need to settle down for the sake of my undeniable aging years. I sound pretty defensive because people has been asking me the so-called right-things-to-do and tried to argue out with reference to their lovely little family with newborn babies and their stronger affection, their closer bond connects within each other to prove my wrongs. I don't feel wrong, I really don't. I brushed away questions with polite smiles and focus on some other nothingness. I begin to think my mentality creates a gap between the happily settled down and the fight hard to get more saving self.

The right thing to say what I need now is saving and the right job to ease out my ill-balance of work and life. Obviously I need more effort and time to find that suitability then normal beings while luck is always always not with me. When I refer to saving, I mean a pool of wealth as emergency fund or  if I fail to be even a rubbish collector and wake up on a rainy day thinking of starting a low capital business or just if anyone falls severely ill like dad did or if I want to help my sis to ease the transit to England if materialise. Bascially I need security and right now, nothing more secure that having some cold hard cash. I need the right job, actually to be more accurate, I need a right boss. My theory is that I don't mind bitchy ones, but as long as they are quite harmless then they are already good people, in my eyes. Having right boss is more important than stay slim now because nothing more efficient to work with right people and to stay in a smoother route. I have other more elaborate details to what I wants but I shall focus on what I need now. These doesn't mean I cannot get marry but if these are all I care for now, then I don't see the rush to get wed. I just need to fulfill my needs before my wants., ie. I need money more than I want to get into marriage. At least, for now.